Monday, April 1, 2013

Danger! Gorilla Escape

Escaped Gorilla on the Loose

Here's a scene we'll not see again. Jamani clutching Bomassa.  When park rangers drove by the Forest Glade early this morning, the four adult gorillas were fast asleep in the straw,  and six month old Apollo Gorilla was bouncing around having a grand time on the climbing structure.  His big brother Bomassa was gone. At about ten pounds, he's just a little bit of a thing and hard to keep track of, so at first, it seemed  maybe the little gorilla boy was just hiding or maybe having a swim in the pond. But later in the morning, during training sessions, the truth came out.
Bomassa is sick and tired of milk

Acacia Gorilla spilled the beans. Bomassa's gone,  she told officials with sign language gestures she has learned over the past few years.  I had recently told him the story of how I just about climbed outta here a couple years ago. Darned if he didn't seem fascinated, but I didn't think much of it at the time,  she admitted sheepishly.  Maybe I shouldn't have been discussing that kind of thing with a child,  but I am just a gorilla. So how was I supposed to know? Officials persisted in questioning, but Acacia maintained her matter-of-fact composure.   This morning when I opened my eyes for a sec, I saw that little white patch on his butt,  disappearing over the wall before I dozed off again.  Zip! There he went.  He's an able climber now, and he's tiny enough to get past that electric wiring up there. He just slipped right up and over and  through. Anyway, get over it already. I am having a baby in September, so it's not like Apollo will be lonely or anything.

Investigators proficient in gorilla sign language were flown in from California,

and immediately began questioning the rest of the troop. Olympia, the dominant female in the troop,  was annoyed by what she sees as needless commotion over nothing,  and  quipped  that her son Apollo is puh-lenty cute enough thank you. In her estimation, one gorilla baby is more than adorable enough for all of North Carolina. I'm not so sure North Carolina is big enough for all these gorilla babies, she said. It's not really that big a state.

Nkosi the silverback was so distraught he was unable to answer any questions or perform certain other functions. As zoo goers know, Nkosi makes presents for his son. He is constantly showing  affection for both Apollo and Bomassa. He's taking it hard and wishes he had not given Bomassa such a stern look last month. Four hundred and ten pounds of sobbing gorilla daddy is a sorry sight, sources tell ZooBabyBlog.

Naturally, Mother Jamani is destroyed, but she expects to get over this bump in the road quickly.  Jamani lamented that  she needs a rest. Half the time he is  climbing up me or grabbing my boobs.  That hurts!  And he is always clinging to my legs when I  am trying to beat Olympia to a prime head of lettuce. Boy slows me down, I tell you. Jamani complains that she is exhausted from  trying to keep track of bouncing Bomassa.  It's not easy being a  milk factory. You wonder why I nap half the day, well it saps my energy. People expect way too much of me. After Bomassa got kidnapped a few months back, I have to keep that boy under wraps every minute of the day. A mama gorilla gets tired, says Jamani.

Apollo might have the best information of all, as he and his half-brother Bomassa were born in the same month of 2012, and are very close. They communicate telepathically because their moms don't let them play much with each other.  Bomassa was mad because he never got anything good to drink around this place. Milk is not as tasty as you might think, he pointed out.  I don't know why you people don't put in a soda machine or something.